Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How do your attitudes grow?
The stances you take up can too quickly shake up
Every last friend that you know.
Your behavior so charming can turn to alarming.
Do you face north or south, east or west?
When you snarl and smolder with that chip on your shoulder,
Are you at your worst or your best?
When you get overwrought, teach yourself to be taught.
“It’s your attitude.” That’s what they say.
Why will you not fit into a slot
And stay there and stay there and stay!
From your corns to your forehead, you can be a sorehead,
Then change to a darling, of course.
Oh, Mary, contrary, I’d like us to marry,
But I balk at the cost of divorce.